A Married Couple’s Prayer

{The following was first published on Suite101.com}

Husband: Dear Lord, thank you for this opportunity to come together with my wife and pray. We know you are a loving and kind God, and you desire to hear us. Please accept the prayers we offer, and answer us.

Wife: Yes Lord, I do indeed thank you for this wonderful time of prayer. And thank you for my husband. Please bless him and guide him. And thank you, Lord, for our family. Please help the children to grow in mind, body and spirit. And help me, dear Lord, to continue to nurture them and care for their needs, as well as the needs of our household.

Husband: Yes, Lord, help my wife with our children and her household duties. Help her to do a good job. And I agree with my wife in praying for guidance. Please guide me in all things.

Wife: Lord, I agree with my husband’s prayer, and I too ask for your help with my household duties. Please help me to continue to do a good job, because I think I am doing a darn good job already. And please do guide my husband. Guide him in how he might help with some of the duties at home. Guide him and lead him in the ways that he is obviously unaware. Show him, in your wisdom, how he might help with the children once in a while, and how he might wash a dish every now and then.

Husband: Oh yes dear God, I pray for more free time so that I can help with things around the home. You know how hard it is to work so many hours a week in order to provide for my family. I appreciate my wife and her hard work, and you know, Lord, that I meant nothing bad by asking you to help her do a good job. But as usual Lord, my wife took it wrong. Please show her how much I appreciate what she does, and teach her to appreciate what I do also.

Wife: Oh dear Lord, please, please, please forgive me for not realizing how much my husband appreciates me. Forgive me for not noticing. I must have missed the, “Thank you dear for washing my clothes,” or the “How about going out to dinner so you won’t have to cook tonight?” Help me with my hearing God, because I did not hear my loving and appreciative husband say those things … EVER! I know it must be my hearing, because any truly appreciative husband would occasionally compliment his wife. Please Lord … open my poor deaf ears to my husband’s constant praise of my housekeeping. And please let my husband know that I do appreciate him. I appreciate the fact that he works at a medium pay job so that I ONLY HAVE TO WORK PART TIME instead of full time to supplement our income.

Husband: Lord, I do wish my wife did not have to work. I ask you to help me get a better paying position. But at the same time, dear Lord, I want to thank you that I have a very good job and that my wife is able to spend the majority of her time at home so that she can keep up with her soap-operas and game shows. And Lord, please help my wife with her memory. I am sure she forgot that just yesterday I said, “You look very nice today dear and the house is so clean. How do you do it?”

Wife: Thank you, O Holy Father for giving me a good enough memory to remember yesterday. But God, my husband is right. I do need help remembering all those other days. It seems my mind lost recollection of any compliments for at least two weeks prior to yesterday’s feeble attempt at flattery, probably given so that I would let him go bowling with his friends. And for him to say that I looked nice yesterday is to imply that I did not look nice any of those other days. I am sorry Lord that I am such an ugly beast in my husband’s eyes.

Husband: Lord, you know that I consider my wife attractive. I am sorry that I fail to verbally communicate that fact to her more often. Yet, you know Lord, that I show her in many other ways. Please let her see the positive, instead of just the negative aspects of our marriage. Let her see our marriage as a cup of water that is half full, not half empty.

Wife: Dear God, please forgive me for not being the great optimistic philosopher that my husband wants me to be. It is just that I do see our marriage as A HALF CUP OF WATER. I feel that I am the one who is responsible for the half that is there. I feel my husband does not contribute to our marriage cup at all. I would like our marriage to be a whole cup of water BUT IT IS JUST A HALF CUP. It doesn’t matter whether it is half empty or half full. IT IS STILL JUST A FREAKING HALF CUP … Lord.

Husband: Lord, please help my wife calm down … , and show me what I can do to help my wife appreciate our marriage more.

Wife: Well, Lord, for a start you could tell my husband to spend more time with me and less time watching and listening to sports on TV.

Husband: Lord, you know that I need my relaxation after a hard week of work and that the few hours I spend on sports are minimal compared to the extreme length of time my wife spends on the phone with her mother; not to mention the fact that they are LONG DISTANCE calls. Maybe, Lord, you could show her how much MONEY AND TIME could be saved if those calls were shortened. Then maybe I would have more time to spend with my wife as well as more money to spend on her.

Wife: Yes God, it is true that I spend far too much time on the phone with my mother. Maybe I should get her to move in with us so that we could care for her. Then I could save all of that phone time and money. After all, dearest Lord, we both know how you want your children to care for the elderly and the widowed; especially those who are members of our family.

Husband: Oh dear … oh dear kind and merciful God, please forgive me for my abrupt and unloving words regarding my wife’s phone conversations with her mother. It really is fine that she spends time and money to visit with her mom by phone. And it is not too much to ask of me to give up a small amount of sport watching time to spend with my loving wife. And Lord, please make my wife aware of the fact that my Aunt Edna is also getting up in age and may need a place to stay. If Aunt Edna were to find out that we brought my mother-in-law to live with us, she may want to share the room with her, and then we could …

Wife: Dear God, thank you for enlightening me to the true wisdom of allowing my mother to remain up north, close to my brother. She can be much better cared for where she is. And I pray that you give my husband an equally large amount of wisdom regarding his lovely Aunt Edna. Things are really fine as they are. Thank you Father God.

Husband: Yes Lord. Things are fine just the way they are. Thank you for my family, and I especially thank you for my wife.

Wife: And I too thank you for my family and for my loving husband.

Husband and Wife: AMEN.

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